You might have heard the saying “you are neither your thoughts nor your emotions”.
Indeed, you are more than your mind and body. How so? Well… simply put, when you look at yourself in the mirror, you are not what you see, nor what you’re thinking while you’re looking at it.
Think about it this way. If all that makes up who you are is just your brain and your body, then what exactly did they transfer in the movie Avatar? What part of the dude was extracted from his body and put into another?
Right. That’s what you really are.
Consciousness.
Whisper it once more. Consciousness.
Nice.
Now let’s put that in practice.
Just clouds in the sky, endlessly passing you by
Let’s start by acknowledging one basic truth. The only reason you want to do, be or have anything, is because you think it will make you feel good or better. So for now, that’s the aim of the game: feeling good. Thus, why linger on negative thoughts and the emotions they give rise to? Why feel bad when you can feel good?
Most likely because our minds have been conditioned to do just that. Fret about stuff.
But here’s something you can do to detach more and more from your identification with what you think. First, next time you’re having thoughts about something that makes you feel less than good, realize that you are not your thoughts. They’re really not you. Your thoughts are your own but they do not define you. Just because you think or feel anxious doesn’t mean that you are anxious. It means you are experiencing the symptoms of anxiety, not that you are anxiety. Because you can think doesn’t mean you are your thoughts. You can also drive a car. Are you a car?
You are consciousness, remember?
Say it again, ever so softly.
Consciousness.
Sounds good, right? Outstanding.
Think the other way round. Your brain makes it possible for you to process thoughts. But who is the thinker of the thought? You are, right? But who or what is you? Is the essence of your being housed in your brain? Are you a brain? If so, why do you allow yourself to have negative thoughts? Can’t you control yourself, being the thinker and the brain? Theoretically, if you and the organism that thinks and produces thought are one and the same, you should have mastery over yourself. Unless of course…
You are not your brain. You are not your thoughts.
The average human supposedly thinks about 50.000 thoughts a day. You can’t stop these. But you can learn to see them for what they are. Just clouds in the sky, endlessly passing you by. Being consciousness, you get to choose from an endless buffet of thoughts to associate with. Don’t like the thought? Pick another one. You create your reality with your thoughts. Change the script, change your life.
“Become like sensitive samurai to whispers of mind.”
Mr. Miyagi says
Second and most importantly, feel how the thought feels in your body. Every mental thought has a physical counterpart in the form of an emotion. Some are very subtle, others not so. Become aware of the sensations that flow with the thought. Get to know them. You can literally feel the bodily reaction turning sour when you go down that same old crappy thinking road again. When you put your awareness on the emotion, you disconnect from the thinking of the thought. Therefore you allow it to dissolve more quickly.
Practical Case Study
Getting in an argument with the missus.
She has made you your favourite sandwich but slightly overdid it on the pickles. You say “What is this?! Did I ask for a picklefest?” You feel anger rising and throw the sandwich on the floor. “Make me a new one!” you yell at her. Now, instead of thinking “dammit that beautiful sexy ass goddess of a woman is going to drive me mental if she doesn’t feed me right now!”, immediately focus your attention on how it feels in your body (tension in your gut, breathing getting heavier, etc..). See the e-motion for what it is: energy in motion. Stay with it, follow its course in your body and feel it through. Don’t think, feel. Notice that the emotion is there, breathe into it, it will leave soon enough. And with a little time and practice, you’ll see how fast you can drop into your body instead of getting stuck in your head. Therefore avoiding the chance of ruining a perfectly good sandwich.
“Don’t get into pickle with too much thinking. Féél way out.”
Mr. Miyagi says
With breathwork and meditation, you’re getting more aware of this thought-emotion connection.
When you learn how to observe your thoughts and emotions as separate from your Self, that’s when you start taking control over how you feel, regardless of the circumstances.
That is mastery.